tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post557313913143355752..comments2023-10-30T02:52:18.812-07:00Comments on when lilies fly: horse blog & philosophy: When Horses Hurt UsFlying Lilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04652273828990723024noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-45596958647249569802008-12-19T14:20:00.000-08:002008-12-19T14:20:00.000-08:00I meant to put this up a while back, but then life...I meant to put this up a while back, but then life happened and I forgot. Mea culpa and all that.<BR/><BR/>It took me a long long time to understand that feeling an emotion isn't the same as being ruled by it. I've been lucky enough not to take a bad fall, but unlucky in having spent my share of time hospital-bound and miserable, and to this day the smells and sounds of certain places knock me back on my heels. I complained to someone about hating to be such a wimp, and she basically pointed out that you can never control your feelings of fear, only what you do to react. <BR/><BR/>A woman at my barn has had two extremely bad falls, and yet she still comes back. It's been such a joy to watch her work; she's very self-deprecating, and she has no shame about drawing her own limits--not going to trot today, not going to canter today, not going to even ride today--but she has gone from being too scared to go into a stall alone to being a happy, confident rider. She faces her fear every time she saddles up. But the difference is that although she's got no choice about letting the fear ride <I>with</I> her, <I>she's</I> the one doing the riding; the fear isn't riding her. Sounds like you're doing the same thing, and who gets to be brave without knowing what fear feels like?3pennyjanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16942571483182917042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-31267888812972111092008-12-15T19:32:00.000-08:002008-12-15T19:32:00.000-08:00Just thought I'd mention a trick I use to get me b...Just thought I'd mention a trick I use to get me back on track after a fall: I sit down and read a training article before heading to the barn. It gets me in the right headspace, and for some reason reading training tips makes me want to ride. I also focus on what I WANT the horse to do, not what I DON'T want her to do (e.g. instead of "Gee, I hope she doesn't spook in that corner," I think "Forward, outside rein, bend, and soften through the corner.")halfpassgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12996626217001261168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-38811102872632278942008-12-14T05:51:00.000-08:002008-12-14T05:51:00.000-08:00PonyGirl, there's some old saying about how many f...PonyGirl, there's some old saying about how many falls it takes to make you a horseperson. I say, it is definitely possible to be a great horseperson and never fall ever. Hitting the ground is no demonstration of skill. :) and the consequences can be quite a setback for rider confidence, as PaintGirl and I can testify!Flying Lilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04652273828990723024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-42316492021112469472008-12-14T00:11:00.000-08:002008-12-14T00:11:00.000-08:00Good post. My sister went through something like t...Good post. My sister went through something like this two years ago. Her confidence in that mare is still not the same, even though the mare has done nothing to make her feel like she is going to be thrown again (it was a freak thing, we think she was stung by a bee.)<BR/>Luckily I have not had a fall from My Boy yet. However, that doesn't stop my anxiety-riden self from worrying about it!Pony Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02464088874054923635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-10862845456181843362008-12-11T12:58:00.000-08:002008-12-11T12:58:00.000-08:00She had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't let he...She had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't let her keep stopping to munch on the grass and kept kicking her on each time she tried. After about 8 times she threw a strop and took off. Normally I just let her go and gather up the reins as we go but being in the woods I was distracted by trying to avoid low flying branches and just stay on board. I had little steering and no brakes. Not a good combination.Zoehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07320245344972085329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-12240422557165848092008-12-11T11:56:00.000-08:002008-12-11T11:56:00.000-08:00c2b: Read about your waltz through the woods and i...c2b: Read about your waltz through the woods and it sounded hairy. What got into the witch I mean sweetheart Zoe? Falling off the mounting block reminds me of the time I tried to mount by standing on my Jeep bumper on an icy day. Ho ho ho.Flying Lilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04652273828990723024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-63530795001160879332008-12-11T11:52:00.000-08:002008-12-11T11:52:00.000-08:00A subject close to my heart right now lol. My wors...A subject close to my heart right now lol. <BR/>My worst ever injury around horses was caused when I fell off the mounting block, didn't even get on the bloody horse!!! very embarrassing, I was air lifted to hospital, damaged nerves in my back, my neck, dislocated my elbow and did all sorts of things to my knee.....<BR/>At least this time I had actually managed to get on board. Having a horse practising pole dancing round trees whilst rider having lost the reins is not to be recomended. <BR/>I need to be with my horse. She has done more for my mental (if not physical) health than any amount of drugs from the psychiatric dept.Zoehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07320245344972085329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-55189478204395563442008-12-11T06:55:00.000-08:002008-12-11T06:55:00.000-08:00Susan, if you want to email me off the blog we can...Susan, if you want to email me off the blog we can be a little 2-person support group for OTTB owners in recovery! :) My email is <BR/><BR/>flyinglilies AT hotmail dot com<BR/><BR/>breaking it up to avoid getting spammed.Flying Lilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04652273828990723024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-83475526194294437572008-12-10T16:11:00.000-08:002008-12-10T16:11:00.000-08:00Thank you for your kind comments. I'm not sure wh...Thank you for your kind comments. I'm not sure why he acted as he did. I've been on him when he's spooked and bolted and I always got him under control in a few paces. However, last night was like nothing I've ever experienced, it was not a bolt so much as a gathering surge in strength, stride and speed. I've never been so out of control, he just completely tuned me out and took off. You said it brilliantly, the "fear grows like spring grass" so true, it's been building in me all day, though last night I got back on and was fine and even jumped. Too much time to dwell perhaps? I take a lesson at the barn where he's boarded one day a week, but right now I know I'm too scared to get in the ring without my instructor.<BR/>Part of the fear is that the ring is always crowded, if he hurts me that's one thing, if we hurt someone else, oh my, that would be awful. Anyway, thank you so much for sharing your story and for letting me type mine, it has been more help than you can imagine, sharing my story with other horse folks who have been through it. <BR/>Perhaps the answer to my problem can be found in one simple word: lunging? The round pen is outside and it was raining so I couldn't lunge him beforehand. Or maybe lunging is my Dumbo's Feather? Anyway, thank you so much for providing this place to express unbridled fear!!!! Hope all is well with you and Montana, you're my inspiration.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-76648647459020274182008-12-10T15:34:00.000-08:002008-12-10T15:34:00.000-08:00Susan, I really feel your pain. It's an amazing e...Susan, I really feel your pain. It's an amazing experience to be on a suddenly turbocharged horse and hit the ground with g-force on a turn. Ouch. And the fear grows like spring grass. I will check out that book and meanwhile, take care of yourself. I so know the feeling of not being a good enough rider for my horse. That's ouch too. But in fact they just freak sometimes and it's not about us all the time! Do you know what it was all about? not that there's always a rational reason...Flying Lilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04652273828990723024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-56023485404790115752008-12-10T10:44:00.000-08:002008-12-10T10:44:00.000-08:00Oh my God, last night I duplicated your fall on my...Oh my God, last night I duplicated your fall on my own OTTB, whom I've owned for 2 months, Mother McKree.<BR/>We were trotting around the arena when he just grabbed the bit and surged beneath me, and endless frightening surge, gaining in speed and stride till he turned sharply and I flew off, which was a bit of a relief as my stay on him was unraveling. Witnesses say he opened his mouth to evade the bit and just took over. We're both ok, I'm sore and bruised today. My instructor got on him for 5 minutes, then I did and cantered and jumped a cross rail, but today I woke up scared. I bought this horse and I have to get back on, but I am fearful. Thanks for sharing your story, I don't feel so alone and scared. I just happened to have the book A Sport Psychology Workbook for Riders, by <BR/>Ann Reilly, by my bed, for previous issues, fear & self criticism, too bad of a rider for this horse issues etc, and found it helpful, if anyone wants to try it, I recommend it... Thank you for sharing your story, feeling like rubbish and your story helps...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-66070512661587420472008-12-08T21:55:00.000-08:002008-12-08T21:55:00.000-08:00Great post. Fear is one thing people sometimes re...Great post. Fear is one thing people sometimes refuse to acknowledge...it is great to face it like you did and come out better for it.photogchichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14822162590502709534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-70768532762912059102008-12-08T05:15:00.000-08:002008-12-08T05:15:00.000-08:00Jill: That sounds like a lovely fall, with enough ...Jill: That sounds like a lovely fall, with enough hang time to think of the names you'd like to call your horse! I have added your blog to my links and look forward to following your journey.Flying Lilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04652273828990723024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-25305263799435024972008-12-08T05:10:00.000-08:002008-12-08T05:10:00.000-08:00Ezra_Pandora: That's hilarious about your visualiz...Ezra_Pandora: That's hilarious about your visualization and your mare was still antsy! You have a deeply honest mind. When I try to picture a perfect ride, there's always some little wormhole at the edge of my imagination: but Mrs. Mom is so right that if can see it in our heads, we can approximate it in our lives. Plus it is something we can do when it's blowing snow and 10 degrees outside.Flying Lilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04652273828990723024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-32829291019787582902008-12-08T05:06:00.000-08:002008-12-08T05:06:00.000-08:00RisingRainbow: I'm looking forward to your posts a...RisingRainbow: I'm looking forward to your posts about your new horse. Young horses are a whole separate issue and my hat is off to those who take the first dozen or so rides. this I will never do.Flying Lilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04652273828990723024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-52019561854399012922008-12-08T05:05:00.000-08:002008-12-08T05:05:00.000-08:00GreyHorse: he jumped the standard from a full stop...GreyHorse: he jumped the standard from a full stop?! Makes me heart pound just to think of it. What gets into their brains on these occasions?Flying Lilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04652273828990723024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-23656912944641282862008-12-08T05:03:00.000-08:002008-12-08T05:03:00.000-08:00RAnchette: Slip-n-falls are a big phobia of mine a...RAnchette: Slip-n-falls are a big phobia of mine although the only time my horse has fallen was while longeing. But it looked terrible as the legs slid out from under and those big haunches came crashing down. He was being naughty but I was being careless so...my fault. At the height of your horse, that must have been a doozy of a fall. Good point about the helmets. I try to replace mine after every bad headsmack. For some reason I always hit my head.Flying Lilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04652273828990723024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-17517407208887041602008-12-08T04:58:00.001-08:002008-12-08T04:58:00.001-08:00CDNCowgirl: Looking forward to your stories and th...CDNCowgirl: Looking forward to your stories and thanks for the meme tag! I'll git er done.Flying Lilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04652273828990723024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-28520037364191700542008-12-08T04:58:00.000-08:002008-12-08T04:58:00.000-08:00Lytha, That OTTB of yours makes me think: the expr...Lytha, That OTTB of yours makes me think: the expression "well-broke" is supposed to be said of horses not riders! I'm glad you got away from her unscathed. Strangely, I know exactly what you mean about fearing the fear. I've gotten away from my worst of it, and now I fear it being reinstalled through another 'episode'. I have fear triggers now that in my innocence, I didn't have before Ms. White flew by.Flying Lilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04652273828990723024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-27205629489728632402008-12-08T02:51:00.000-08:002008-12-08T02:51:00.000-08:00Oh yeah, I was there recently after my mare decide...Oh yeah, I was there recently after my mare decided the pony of my trainer's daughter was the scariest thing on the planet. She jumped out from under me, back under me, and then out from under me again. I remember having time to think some nasty names at her for that trick and then I was on the ground. I ended up with a concussion, soft tissue damage to my back and knee, whiplash and a major sprain in my hand/wrist which resulted in being grounded for six weeks. I wasn't at all afraid when it first happened - just chalked it up to riding a green horse. But during my time away from the saddle my fear really grew. I'm still reeling from it and some days I get on and think I'll just walk in a twenty meter circle and then get off if I feel like it. I really like the riding room idea. I'm going to try that. The thing that helped me the most was reading a book on getting over fear that said it was okay to work with your comfort zone for as long as you needed to-wherever that comfort zone was, and not to feel ashamed or guilty if you needed to come back to it.Jill Wiswallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06214042369811208316noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-21642772135098851042008-12-08T01:54:00.000-08:002008-12-08T01:54:00.000-08:00Tagged you with the "6 things you don't know about...Tagged you with the "6 things you don't know about me" meme :)cdncowgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09055181472294995601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-65923130992194368622008-12-07T16:57:00.000-08:002008-12-07T16:57:00.000-08:00Oh have I been in this place. I am still trying to...Oh have I been in this place. I am still trying to recover from an episode last year. I'm ok riding broke horses but the new young stock push all my buttons.....not to mention the horse that scared me this badly. I'm posting about him now and what a special horse he is to me. I'm going to overcome this fear......the only question is when?<BR/><BR/>I like the idea of the RR room. I'll have to see if that works for me.Rising Rainbowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04239592070775412669noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-50315234219658203432008-12-07T16:38:00.000-08:002008-12-07T16:38:00.000-08:00Most of us have been there. When my guy Erik was a...Most of us have been there. When my guy Erik was around I fell off him maybe 4 times in the 15 years I had him. The worst fall in the arena happened when he decided to pull out from a jump and stop then jump the standard from a standstill. I went right off the back. I did get back on and finish the course, but I was hurting for a while after that and couldn't ride. It wasn't easy but I worked through it by taking smaller steps and jumping smaller jumps until my confidence returned. I'm glad I did because we always had such a blast riding.Grey Horse Mattershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05837575441967937196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-58814462390357282112008-12-07T15:10:00.000-08:002008-12-07T15:10:00.000-08:00Mrs Mom advised me to imaging the perfect ride aft...Mrs Mom advised me to imaging the perfect ride after my mare spooked a few weeks ago. I discovered when I imagined my pefect ride, it was hot out (I was in a tank top) and my mare was still not super calm. I don't know why I can't imagine anything actually good. My trainer had to keep telling me over and over that my mare majorly feeds off my emotions because she was so nervous and self conscious herself. It took awhile for me to not be so nervous just because I had her almost 4 years before my first actual ride on her and I knew of all the incidents that happened and they freaked me out. What finally calmed me down? Singing. I would hum and sing really low to calm both myself and her and it actually worked. Now she will respond to "easy girl" pretty quickly. I will still hum sometimes if no one is around :) I talk low to her if there are other people.ezra_pandorahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04626213285612235702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102006698856259727.post-66186140320958649452008-12-07T14:11:00.000-08:002008-12-07T14:11:00.000-08:00Good for you for taking your fear by the horns, so...Good for you for taking your fear by the horns, so to speak.<BR/><BR/>I had a pretty serious accident with the Big Horse a number of years ago. I asked him to make too tight of a turn while cantering in poor footing. It was a bad call on my part; I had grown up riding catty small Arabians who were very sure of their feet. <BR/><BR/>I'll never forget the feeling of his hind end completely falling out from underneath me. I got as far as kicking my feet out of the stirrups & dropping the reins and thinking: "We're going down!". How having 1300 lbs land on top of my lower body didn't cause me to break anything I'll never know. Thank geeky engineers for safety helmets.<BR/><BR/>When I got my field of vision back I was in a slow motion panic asking DH, then my boyfriend, where my horse was. Poor horse was standing a distance away with his bottom lip quivering (what he does when he's nervous). He had the look on his face like "Oh my god! I've killed the alpha horse! What do I do now?"<BR/><BR/>I had my share of soft tissue injuries and a whopper of a concussion. The barn I was at at the time kind of good naturedly snickered at me as I become the "walk and trot girl" for the better part of 3 months. Partly because my head was still swimming and my back roaring; partly because I was afraid of him falling again. It's a long hard drop from 16'3".<BR/><BR/>I spent my share of days at the barn just coming out to brush, groom & feed treats too when I didn't have a ride in me that day too.<BR/><BR/>P.S. For anyone who doesn't know: Anytime you've had a bad fall that involved your helmet taking a good hit, replace your helmet before riding again. Even if the exterior appears unharmed, the blow could have collapsed the shock absorbing structures inside rendering it less effective the next time you need it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com