Woe is Me I am FFFREEZING

313 PM CST TUE JAN 13 2009

...ANOTHER FRIGID NIGHT IN THE BORDERLAND...

MNZ010>012-018>021-140630-
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KOOCHICHING-NORTHERN ST. LOUIS-NORTHERN COOK/NORTHERN LAKE-
NORTHERN ITASCA-CENTRAL ST. LOUIS-SOUTHERN LAKE/LAKESHORE-
SOUTHERN COOK/LAKESHORE-
313 PM CST TUE JAN 13 2009

...WIND CHILL WARNING IN EFFECT UNTIL 12 PM CST WEDNESDAY...

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN DULUTH HAS ISSUED A WIND CHILL
WARNING...WHICH IS IN EFFECT UNTIL 12 PM CST WEDNESDAY.

AIR TEMPERATURES WILL FALL QUICKLY INTO THE NEGATIVE TEENS AND 20S
THIS EVENING...CONTINUING TO DROP THROUGH SUNRISE WEDNESDAY
MORNING. THESE TEMPERATURES...COMBINED WITH ANY LIGHT WIND WILL
PRODUCE WIND CHILL VALUES OF 40 TO 50 DEGREES BELOW ZERO.
TEMPERATURES AND WIND CHILL VALUES WILL IMPROVE INTO THE TEENS AND
20S BELOW ZERO WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON...BEFORE FALLING DANGEROUSLY
LOW ONCE AGAIN WEDNESDAY NIGHT.

UNDER THESE CONDITIONS...EXPOSED SKIN CAN FREEZE IN 15 MIN OR
LESS...AND HYPOTHERMIA WILL SET IN IF PRECAUTIONS ARE NOT TAKEN. THE
ELDERLY...YOUNG CHILDREN...AND THOSE WITH MEDICAL CONDITIONS HAVE
AN INCREASED RISK TO THE EXTREME COLD. REMEMBER THAT PETS AND
LIVESTOCK ARE ALSO EFFECTED BY PROLONGED COLD SPELLS.

A WIND CHILL WARNING MEANS A COMBINATION OF BITTERLY COLD ARCTIC
AIR AND WIND WILL CREATE DANGEROUSLY COLD AND LIFE-THREATENING
WIND CHILL VALUES. IF YOU MUST VENTURE OUTDOORS OR TRAVEL...BE
SURE TO PACK A SURVIVAL KIT AND CELL PHONE. IF YOU BECOME
STRANDED...DO NOT LEAVE YOUR VEHICLE. COVER ALL EXPOSED SKIN.

"Eat a lot of chocolate. Do not by any means run short of cookies. Make sure you have all the ingredients to bake a nice cake with double frosting layer. Dog biscuit supply: check. Thermal underwear free of holes: check. All unnecessary outings cancelled: check. Technology training over and done with: check and woot. All systems FREEZE."

"Nom Nom Nom!" Winter Munchies

Is there anything more pleasant than feeding horses something they love? Slurp, chomp, nom nom, and the eyes half closing with delight. It doesn't cost much, it doesn't take much time, it gives a terrific sense of satisfaction, and it makes horsey happy. What more could we ask?

Today John wore Montana's halter as he munched in the winter sun, which always makes his coat glow like golden bunny fur. It was 13 degrees F. and so, pretty pleasant for short periods of time. Some of the barn girls with zero % body fat were hanging out all day out there so, that baffles me. I have ermmm a bit more body fat and still get too cold.

Here's Montana munching his beet pulp & supplements, and my photo cut off one of his ears but they are both still there:


And here he is yearning towards his mint:


And Johnnie wishing he could have one more mint:


Then when I had done my feeding 'chore', the moon came up like a giant tangerine:

I could not capture the true color; it was eerie and enormous:

And I will close with a photo of Montana's cute front feet, which he poses just like this when he is eating:

What a sweetie!!!!

Raging Bull: Workshop Day 2

At 3 p.m. today I crawled out of a toxic sea of eduspeak and lay shivering on a grey beach of tedium and death wish. Day 2 of my educational technology workshop brought us Bloom's system of learning categories, just one of many education inventions to stifle creative thought and kill the spirit. In the photo above you see some of this Bloom guy's raging bull, which we were forced to use in our own thinking for 6 hours-- an outrage and a waste of good mental energy.

Lytha had suggested that I shake things up by, for example, switching the beverage labels around or some such. I did move 'decaf' to the cookie platter but no one noticed or cared. I believe we are already too broken for merriment of this graceful sort. We need fart jokes or pratfalls at this critical stage.

I received a grade of 'minus' on my homework from yesterday, with this comment:

"I didn't see any of the ratings of "baseline, effective or exemplary" from the rubric as applied to the criteria."

Gah! Take me out back and whip me with a 2x4.

I did manage to make it to the barn since we ended early, and there was still some daylight which revealed this odd snow formation on the run-in roof:


The snow slid down just so far and then has been hanging on for days, like little even strips of lace. Here it is viewed from inside the run-in, and you can see the moon somewhere in the middle:


I did get to ride a horse today, and all the barn girls were as sweet as molasses, so it's a good day that ends well as my mom used to say. I only have 5 more days of the workshop from hell and I have to admit I've met some nice new people, including an education professor from Kenya who said "If you pray God for a Jeep and he sends you a mule, ride the mule!" which is good advice for me in my Jeremiah mode.

Lethally Bored

For my sins in a past life, I am condemned to spend 8 hours a day for the next two weeks in a workshop on instructional technology. While not as hellish as my driving class, I am suffering with conviction. This photo shows the general level of excitement in our group.

The liveliest moment occurred when one participant reached a breaking point and began anxiously asking,

"But how do I KNOW whether my course is learner-centered or instructor-centered?"

Facilitator: "mumblejumblegumble"

"But how do I KNOW??? How??"

It was judged to be time for a break and as you can see, we at least know how to eat in these technology Gulags.

We actually were given homework, which everyone proceeded to complete surreptitiously while the presenters were still talking about grade rubrics and assessment. I think I did my homework wrong. I am praying I don't get kept after class tomorrow because it just might put me over the edge.

It was a horseless day, which just seems wrong.

Horses' Behinds, and the Women Who Love Them

If you had asked me 20 years ago: What part of a horse is the most beautiful? I might have said, Oh their soulful eyes! Or, Oh those graceful curving necks.

Never would I have guessed that I would come to admire most of all: Their magnificent posteriors. Every horses' behind is unique and tells a rich story: about lineage and genetics, about work and fitness, about current state of relaxation or readiness. These butts are pure poetry, in motion or at rest as you see Montana above, today after our little dressage escapade (more of that later).

Now how on earth did the phrase "horse's behind", or more crudely, "horse's a$$", come to be an insult? That is so wrong. It should be the highest of compliments.

Here's how it should be, in a more logical world:

Person A: "That guy is a real horse's a$$!"

Person B: "Agree! I have always admired him greatly."

Or

Person A: "You are a regular horse's behind!"

Person B: "Why thank you! You are too kind..."

Dressage Escapade Du Jour: Well school is out (weeping and gnashing of teeth) so the barn is a-hoppin with little girls. I tacked up Montana in a light snow but pleasant temperature (14 F) and moseyed up to the arena, from which bubble-gum music was blasting on the radio as we approached.

Arena was filled with young ladies riding, texting, chatting on phones to their parents 'I am not ready to be picked up!!', and the corker: a young lassie longeing her horse taking up half the arena. This would have been bearable if the horse had not been exploding in bucks and gallops. After awhile she decided to try some in-hand work and with a long whip, she touches his hindquarters KICK; she touches them again DOUBLE KICK, and so it goes on.

Montana watched all this with the greatest interest as if to say, "No you do not have my full attention so just learn to live with that fact and anyway, they are much more interesting". But we had a decent ride in amongst it.

So everybody rush out and call someone a horse's behind, in a good way!

Riding Outside in Less than Zero

Degrees Fahrenheit that is!

Yesterday I took John outside into the snowy field for some fresh air ha ha ha. It was below zero and there was an evil little breeze, the kind that gives me tomato-face when I come in from riding. But the sun was out. And it was our last ride of 2008!! I wanted it to be a little different.

As you can see from the tracked up snow, others have been riding out there and specifically, little girls have been galloping their horses out there.

They love to do this because:

(a) The horses can't get going fast enough to scare them; and
(b) If they fall off, they hit two feet of snow instead of stony ground.

However! Here is where my cranky side chimes in. It is so hard on the horses!!!! They come in wringing wet with sweat from just 20 minutes of it, and then they are sore and even sometimes lame. It is not fair. I am developing a real crank side about these girls who treat horses like ATV's.

John and I just walked, befitting my dignity as an aging crankypants, and the sun on the snow was dazzling beautiful.


It was cold enough to be making that crunch/squeak sound with every hoof fall. John was in a happy and meditative mood.

The driveway, which we have to walk across with horses no matter where we tack up, was a sheet of rink-quality ice and scared the bejabbers out of me.


John is good on ice; he shortens up his stride to little tiny baby-steps and keeps his balance centered. Montana, who came in just to get his supplements and mints, is not so good and tends to panic if he slips even a little. So he really gave me the jim-jams crossing that ice-sheet. But we all made it to our destinations, mints were served, and a good wintry last day of 2008 was enjoyed by all.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! 2009 IS GOING TO BE GRAND!!! MANY HAPPY TRAILS TO YOU IN THE YEAR TO COME!

Bless me, Dressage Goddess...

...for I have sinned. It has been 3 weeks since my last lesson. I have sinned by omission and commission.

OMISSION: I have not been riding my dressage horse Montana, and lo, I have not practiceth my arena work, half-halts, leg yields, transitions, and verily I have done a big Lebowski on all my responsibilities in this area. It has been too freakin cold for much of anything, but yes, every sinner thinks they have a good excuse.

COMMISSION: I have eateneth of the cheesecake, the pumpkin pie, the cheesy potato dish, the 7-layer jello (yes she did it again), the Black Forest cake, the fudge, the mixed nuts, yea verily even of the bento boxes have I made myself a gluttonous feast.
And sundry other sources of evil fat and calories have I touched with my hands and lusted after in my heart. The rendering of which is that I am a sad blob before thine eyes oh Dressage Goddess.

And so my penance was to wallow around in the arena on the back of an impatient and distracted horse, whose eyes were themselves tempted by amazing almost biblical visions outside the arena doors: the Four Horses of the Apocalypse galloping by repeatedly, the Lost Snow-Plow as big as an elementary school forging and backing on the road outside, the dropping of great wads of snow off the arena roof in a screaming high wind.

I have resolved to improve my ways. So lunch today was miso soup and an orange. But I got so much exercise peeling the orange that I feel a bit faint, and a slice of that cake on the kitchen counter would revive me so nicely...