Monday, January 21, 2008

How Horse-Crazy Were You as a Kid? Quiz

How Horse-Crazy Were You as a Kid? Find Out Today!

OK now, if you are so kind as to read my blog I am guessing you were nuts about horses as a youngster. But just how horse-crazy were you, on a scale ranging from pretty interested to almost psychotically obsessed? Take this quiz and find out. Note: This quiz is designed for the child who was interested in horses but somewhat horse-deprived. If you are one of those lucky people whose parents actually had horses, or bought you a pony for your birthday, then you cannot be truly obsessed - sorry. Your desires were gratified and I was sick-jealous of you way back when.

Give yourself 10 HC (horse-craziness) points for each 'yes' answer, and total up your score to find your HC childhood profile.


1. Did you ever climb someone's pasture fence and actually get up on a completely strange horse? (Give yourself 10 bonus points if the horse then wiped you off on a low-hanging tree branch.)

2. Did you read almost every horse book in your local public library?

3. Did you have little plastic or even cardboard horses that you kept in shoebox 'stalls' or other homemade environments?

4. Did you watch TV westerns looking only at the horses, not caring who were the 'bad guys' or who got shot unless their horse also appeared to have been injured?

5. Were you easily able to pick out the times in major horse movies such as "Black Beauty" when the important lead horse suddenly changed colors or breeds?

6. Did you live for the times when your parents let you "ride the ponies" at a carnival, fair, or other pony string? Give yourself 10 bonus points if you actually packed carrots in your pocket for these times.

7. Did you propose to your parents creative financing schemes to allow them to buy a farm to house your horses-to-be? Such as: "You could sell the car, and I'll get a job (at age 6)".

8. Did you write little stories or even lengthy novels in which a girl and a horse figured prominently? Give yourself 10 bonus points if you laboriously practiced drawing horses as well.

9. Did you spend significant time looking at breed pictures in something like an encyclopedia, picking out the "best one"?

10. Did you have at least 5 horse names picked out at any given time, just in case?

Score Key:
100-130 points: The Gold ring. You were psychotically obsessed, and your parents and teachers probably worried about you. Congratulations! This is the elite class. It's evidence of true love that other people think you are insane.

80-90 points: Still pretty crazy, you may have had other interests in life and a somewhat balanced personality with just this little blip of horse-crazedness. Don't be depressed; you still have time to manifest genuine equine-related psychotic disturbances. Recommended strategies (such as going deeply into debt for horses) will be noted elsewhere in this blog.

60-80 points: You were a little too sane as a child for true HC success. Try to become a little more unbalanced as an adult. You can practice for equine-related psychosis by doing little exercises: while driving on the freeway, throw all your folding money out the window. You can keep the change. Also: take your favorite comfy sweatshirt and stain it with grass and mud, then wear it to the grocery store. Help is available to remedy your unnaturally normal life.

50 or below: You were far too sane as a child, and this is an emergency. I strongly recommend you get a friend to take you out on a trail ride on her steady-Eddy 15-year old Quarter horse, on a beautiful day. Never mind that this horse is one in a million and you will never replicate this pleasant experience on your own. Just enjoy and allow yourself to begin to let go of your sanity. She will make it look easy by providing the $ truck and trailer, and the horses will walk on and off by themselves while tacking themselves up etc. After this, follow the steps in the above paragraph. You are on your way, and you are not alone!

Now get out there and act horse crazy! You only live once.


Nuzzling Muzzles said...

Ha ha. That's a funny quiz. I guess I qualify as a 10. I grew up in a suburb of Los Angeles not zoned for horses, and was intensely jealous of my own mother for getting her own horse as a child. I also got into trouble for squeezing under fences to play games with other people's horses.

Ella Archie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ella Archie said...

I'm pretty sure I got the highest score possible. When I was younger, my parents would take me to Underwood Family Farm. There I would "ride" the ponies in a circle at least five times that day(no matter how much I coaxed and pleaded five was the limit!) When I was older the age limit I would tell my parents," Just say that I'm five!" These schemes were always refused by my parents. When that failed i would ty to sneak in which would always backfire and get me in trouble.