Friday, January 2, 2009

Horses' Behinds, and the Women Who Love Them

If you had asked me 20 years ago: What part of a horse is the most beautiful? I might have said, Oh their soulful eyes! Or, Oh those graceful curving necks.

Never would I have guessed that I would come to admire most of all: Their magnificent posteriors. Every horses' behind is unique and tells a rich story: about lineage and genetics, about work and fitness, about current state of relaxation or readiness. These butts are pure poetry, in motion or at rest as you see Montana above, today after our little dressage escapade (more of that later).

Now how on earth did the phrase "horse's behind", or more crudely, "horse's a$$", come to be an insult? That is so wrong. It should be the highest of compliments.

Here's how it should be, in a more logical world:

Person A: "That guy is a real horse's a$$!"

Person B: "Agree! I have always admired him greatly."


Person A: "You are a regular horse's behind!"

Person B: "Why thank you! You are too kind..."

Dressage Escapade Du Jour: Well school is out (weeping and gnashing of teeth) so the barn is a-hoppin with little girls. I tacked up Montana in a light snow but pleasant temperature (14 F) and moseyed up to the arena, from which bubble-gum music was blasting on the radio as we approached.

Arena was filled with young ladies riding, texting, chatting on phones to their parents 'I am not ready to be picked up!!', and the corker: a young lassie longeing her horse taking up half the arena. This would have been bearable if the horse had not been exploding in bucks and gallops. After awhile she decided to try some in-hand work and with a long whip, she touches his hindquarters KICK; she touches them again DOUBLE KICK, and so it goes on.

Montana watched all this with the greatest interest as if to say, "No you do not have my full attention so just learn to live with that fact and anyway, they are much more interesting". But we had a decent ride in amongst it.

So everybody rush out and call someone a horse's behind, in a good way!


Grey Horse Matters said...

I'm with you on horses butts, I think they look great when they are in shape. My favorite horses butt is Dusty's, I don't know why, except maybe because it's bigger than mine.

Montana was a good boy not to let all that commotion bother him in the arena. Bet you can't wait for the little darlings to go back to school. I used to love the parents who would use the barn as a day care, especially in summer, it was so annoying. I always thought the owners should have stricter rules or even classes to teach these kids how to act around horses and other riders and have some manners.

Anonymous said...

What a cute rear Montana has! I feel for you on the busy arena, at my old boarding stable I would have done *anything* for an empty arena, but it so so rarely happened. Unfortunately, I was usually the one with the boisterous horse on the longe line though. Ooops!

c2b said...

I love horses bums so round and huggable. Takes away the focus from my behind is purely a bonus. Temp here today is 40f.

Flying Lily said...

GreyHorse: The idea of classes in barn behavior appeals to me greatly. We do also have bad cases of "when the cat's away" syndrome, so that supervision is sorely needed for some of the younger cowgirls with more confidence than sense.

Ranchette: Thank you about Montana's hiney; I like it too! But there is no bad horse hiney IMO. Boisterosity on the longe line in itself doesn't bother me; it's the young person being so on the edge of unable to control it - getting dragged etc. The we has our worries.

c2b: You are right; proportions of scale tend to flatter my own rear end - "which one of us weighs 1000 pounds?" I coyly ask. If the response is, "Uhhhhh...." then I know I've eaten too much fruitcake.

Hugs! Meg (Punchy) said...

I just have one thing to say....that is a GREAT "ass"! Here is to Montana woot, woot!

Flying Lily said...

Meg: Thank you (blush) I admire it too. Wish I had that kind of definition - anywhere.

ezra_pandora said...

I'm so with you on the crazy little girls at the barn. They all seem to come at ONE TIME, and it's always when I just want a quiet ride that day. Which I can't get because they both HAVE to lunge their horses at the same time and take up 1/2 the small arena as well. So irritating.

You need to put this post to Sir Mix A Lot's song "I Like Big Butts." lol!! If you don't know it, I'd be HAPPY to sing some to you. hehe!

Flying Lily said...

EzraPandora: Somehow my cultural education has left out Sir MixaLot - so sing me some!! L I'll go look for it on YouTube. I need to know about this song. The barn girls yesterday were if possible even worse than the day before. I am becoming the barn's official grumpy old lady as I ask them not to run into my horse, not to scream so much, etc.

ezra_pandora said...

lol! It's really called Baby Got Back. Ok, It starts out with a girl saying "oh my god Becky, look at her butt. It is sooooo big. She looks like one of those rap guys' girlfriends." lol I think she says more, but I don't remember. Then he starts singing "Iiiiiii Liiiiike big butts and I cannot lie, you other brother's can't deny, that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get spung." There's obviously more. You have to go online and listen to him singing it. It's hilarious. And I don't know if you ever watched Friends, but when Ross and Rachel are trying to get baby Emma to smile, they start singing that to her because that's the only thing that will get her to smile. Then they get this whole little routine going and all the other 'friends' walk in on them. One of the more hilarious episodes. One of my favorites shows too.

And I will just say for the record, that is really not my kind of music, but it's a really funny song.

BrownEyed Cowgirls said...

I am all for the big hinney's! Big, thick, round, powerful engines-Vrooommm!!

That's funny Ezra bringing up "Baby's Got Back", Megan and I sing it all the time when we see horses with nice hindquarters.

Flying Lily said...

Ezra: Thanks - what a great song!! This will be useful to me in many different ways. ;)

BrownEyed: Gotta love the engines! And that is my new favorite song...

"Ice Pony Girl" said...

yes! i love my pony's cute butt.

Paigeley said...

ahhh!!! i can't STAND IT!!!! when people have the radio next to the arena and it's so loud you can't hear yourself think (or in this circumtance screaming when your horse freaks out and dumps your butt in the dirt) i just want to scream at them I'M A.D.D. MUSIC AND DRESSAGE IN THE SAME VICINTIY DON'T MIX!!!!!!

sorry rant over XP